The Words On The Tip Of My Tongue
by barbie2305
Summary: Originally meant to be just a cute one shot but if there is enough interest may continue this and make it a short multi-chapter fic. Letter written to Santana from Brittany after Hurt Locker.


**This is just something that has been milling around my head for a couple of days. I wanted to write something where it showed the regret Brittany felt after rejecting Santana. This could potentially turn in to a multi-chapter letter fic if there is enough interest. For those of you reading my other story Labels That One Word Carries Too Much Weight: it will be updated either Monday or Tuesday. Let me know what you think. xShay**

_Dear Santana,_

_I don't really know what happened today… I can't really explain how I feel and now I have ended up hurting you… All I need to know is why you didn't tell me all this even after all the chances you had? I just don't understand at all… maybe I am being stupid but I just don't know what to think._

_I know you probably don't even want to talk about this after I turned you down for Artie, but you have to know that it's not right for me to break up with him because you have decided you're ready now. I know that sounds harsh but I care about him too. If you do want to talk about it you have to know that I am here… I am, Santana. No matter what you may think of me now. Whether it is 4 in the morning or 2 in the afternoon, I am here._

_Seeing the look on your face made my heart shatter in to a million pieces and I don't even know what to say that will bring you some sort of peace… Is there anything I can say?_

_You once told me that you didn't feel good enough for anyone but I am here to tell you that you're wrong. We may not be able to be together at this very moment but I want you to know that you ARE good enough for me, you always have been. You are perfect in my eyes San and I don't want what was said today to make you doubt that because it will never change._

_I couldn't actually make a list of all the things that make you perfect in my eyes but I am going to try because then you will begin to see yourself the way I see you. I need you to know how much you mean to me._

_You ALWAYS listen to everything I say and you are one of the few people who really hear me._

_You make it seem like you don't care about others but I have seen the way you protect the ones you love (even if you pretend not to like them, like the Glee Club)._

_No matter how much you deny it you really are a good person._

_The way that, even though I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, you hold my hand in the darkness after we have been together_

_The way you look at me when you think no one is paying attention._

_You don't care what anyone everyone thought of me or what you heard you still made the effort to get to know me._

_The way you hold me – when I am in your arms I feel as though nothing can hurt me and everything I worry about seems to disappear for a little while._

_Even when there is nothing you can do about the things that upset me you do everything in your power to make it go away._

_Your real smile. I know you will try and say that all your smiles are real but I know the truth. There is one smile… a smile that melts my heart every time. It's the only smile that truly reaches your eyes and it's when we catch eyes from across the room._

_Even when we have been apart for 5 minutes, if I text you, you always reply._

_You're the only person who truly understands me._

_The fact that you are so protective of me and will tear anyone down who tries to hurt me_

_The way that you are with my little sister and how you're not embarrassed to be a dork with her._

_The way that you let your true self come out when we are together._

_Most important – You make me feel like I mean something to someone for once._

_These are just some of the things that make you perfect in my eyes Tana… if you need to hear why I love you I could go on forever. I never stop finding new things about you that make me love you more._

_I started this letter with the intention of letting you know that I still care despite what you think after what happened but instead I realised that I made a huge mistake today. You have no idea how sorry I am that I hurt you today and I am going to do anything to make this right… and hopefully I will one day. I would do anything to take those words back… ANYTHING._

_I wish I had really listened to what my heart was saying and not made you feel like I was pushing you away because that was never my intention. I would never do that because I rely on you and need you in my life and close to me. Sometimes my emotions overwhelm me and I don't know what to say or do and end up going with what I think is right at the time which, later on, is never what I should have done._

_I am so frustrated right now because I don't know how to put in to words how much you mean to me… I wish I did have the words, but I don't… so you are just going to have to trust me when I say that I was wrong and would do anything to fix this… You name it and I'll do it. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me Santana… because I realise now what I should have realised when you were standing in front of me… I want to be with YOU and only you._

_I love you, Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world. Wait for me, please. Wait for me like I waited for you all these years. We will be together soon… I realise now, that I CAN'T NOT be with you. Wait for me and I will stand by your side, proudly so._

_Forever yours, with everything that I am._

_Brittany S. Pierce_

**Hope it was ok. Let me know what you think :)! And don't forget to follow me on tumblr at loveisloveshipper! Please review :) xShay**


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